Friday, March 6, 2015

Shakespeare Programming Language

http://codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/47433/1972

Actual code:

The Marvelously Insane FizzBuzzJazz Program.

Lady Capulet, an old bossy woman that loves to count.
The Archbishop of Canterbury, an old fart who adores to spit out letters.


          Act I: The only one of them.

          Scene I: The Archbishop of Canterbury is a bastard.

[Enter The Archbishop of Canterbury and Lady Capulet]

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 You are nothing!

          Scene II: Count, Lady Capulet, count.

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 You are as beautiful as the sum of yourself and a cat!

Lady Capulet:
 Am I worse than the square of the product of the sum of a warm gentle flower and a rose
 and my pretty angel?

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 If not, let us proceed to Scene VIII.

          Scene III: Fizzing to no end!

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 Is the remainder of the quotient between yourself and the sum of a happy cow and a
 chihuahua as good as nothing?

Lady Capulet:
 If not, let us proceed to Scene IV. Thou art as handsome as the sum of the sum of
 the sweetest reddest prettiest warm gentle peaceful fair rose and a happy proud kindgom
 and a big roman. Speak thy mind!

 Thou art as fair as the sum of thyself and a honest delicious cute blossoming peaceful
 hamster. Thou art as cunning as the sum of the sum of an embroidered King and a horse
 and thyself. Speak thy mind!

 Thou art as amazing as the sum of the sum of a good happy proud rich hero and a hair and
 thyself! Speak thy mind.

 Speak your mind!

          Scene IV: Buzz me up, Scotty!

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 Is the remainder of the quotient between yourself and the sum of a gentle happy cow and a
 chihuahua as good as nothing?

Lady Capulet:
 If not, let us proceed to Scene V. Thou art as handsome as the sum of the sweetest reddest
 prettiest warm gentle peaceful fair rose and a small town. Speak your mind!

 You are as prompt as the sum of yourself and a big healthy peaceful fair rich kingdom. You
 are as loving as the sum of the sum of an embroidered King and a horse and thyself. You are
 as amazing as the sum of yourself and a cute fine smooth sweet hamster. Speak your mind!

 You are as prompt as the sum of the sum of yourself and an amazing cunning Lord and a hair.
 Speak your mind.

 Speak your mind!

          Scene V: Milady, there is jazz in my pants.

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 Is the remainder of the quotient between yourself and a proud noble kingdom as good as
 nothing?

Lady Capulet:
 If not, let us proceed to Scene VI. You are as charming as the sum of the sum of a noble
 cunning gentle embroidered brave mighty King and a big warm chihuahua and an amazing pony!
 Speak your mind!

 You are as prompt as the sum of yourself and a big black sweet animal. You are as noble as
 the sum of the sum of a gentle trustworthy lantern and yourself and a hog. Speak your
 mind!

 You are as bold as the sum of the sum of yourself and a good delicious healthy sweet horse
 and my smooth cute embroidered purse. You are as peaceful as the sum of a flower and
 yourself. Speak your mind.

 Speak your mind!

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 Let us proceed to Scene VII.

          Scene VI: Output or die!

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 Open your heart!

          Scene VII: Oh, to jump the line.

Lady Capulet:
 You are as handsome as the sum of a proud noble rich kingdom and a rural town. Speak your
 mind! You are as gentle as the sum of the sum of yourself and a green mistletoe and my
 father. Speak your mind!

The Archbishop of Canterbury:
 We must return to Scene II.

          Scene VIII: Goodbye, cruel world!

[Exeunt]

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